Rent-a-Grandma – A Labor of Love

Leihoma – A Job from the Heart

from Nicole Beste-Fopma

That grandma or grandpa takes care of the children while the parents pursue their careers is no longer a given. Either they live too far away, are still employed themselves, or are too old. On the other hand, there are many elderly people who would love to care for younger children. Many of these people either (still) have no grandchildren or they also live too far away. Since 2010, famPLUS has been bringing these two groups together, a win-win for both sides.

Isabel Weiß is one of those "borrowed grandmas" – but rather an atypical one. The lively, cheerful woman from Hamburg, who describes herself as having a "Spanish temperament," is, at 55 years old, among the younger borrowed grandmas. And as the mother of a 13-year-old, the term "borrowed grandma" doesn't quite fit. However, she bears this title with pride and sees it more as a job description.

Being a surrogate grandma is a job from the heart for me!

While we are on the phone, Isabel Weiß is sitting in the car on her way back to her daughter from a "new" family. Weiß is retired, a single mother, and wants to earn some extra money. Working as a surrogate grandmother is a heartfelt job for her, one she "slid into" almost by accident. A friend gave her the idea, who operates childcare in Mallorca. The current passionate surrogate grandmother had considered returning to Spain, where she had worked for many years. So she did a two-month internship with her friend. Working with children was so enriching and fulfilling for her that although she decided to leave Spain behind again, she did not want to give up on children. The idea to work as a surrogate grandmother in Hamburg was born. "I love children. Especially the very little ones. Probably also because I was not able to experience the early years with my own daughter so intensely. I was always working full-time and had my daughter taken care of," Weiß reports. She uses these personal experiences today in dealing with the mothers. She knows how hard it can sometimes be for them to leave the little ones in someone else's hands.

The workshop makes this whole 'story' more serious.

Since 2015, famPLUS has been organizing workshops for surrogate grandparents in metropolitan regions. As a newly recruited surrogate grandmother, Weiß initially attended the one-day famPLUS workshop to be optimally prepared for her role. Together with eight surrogate grandmothers and two surrogate grandfathers, Ms. Weiß learned everything about her rights and obligations as a surrogate grandmother, gained insight into the stages of child development, and received tips on books and games. She found the advice on insurance particularly helpful: "I hadn't been aware of how important it was for me to get signed permission to transport children in my car, for instance." She also greatly enjoyed the exchange among the surrogate grandmothers and grandfathers. "They were all just interesting, friendly, and very warm-hearted people," she still raves today. "I would love it if we could regularly meet for a get-together." Weiß's conclusion about the workshop: "The workshop makes this whole 'story' more serious. 'Surrogate grandmother' thereby becomes a job title.

Rent-a-Grandma as a Part-time Job or Just a Few Hours per Week

Overall, Weiß works four days a week with a maximum of six hours per day. "How much a substitute grandma works depends entirely on the substitute grandma herself," explains Verena Koch, department manager for child care at famPLUS. "We have substitute grandmas like Mrs. Weiß, who do this almost as a part-time job, but we also have substitute grandmas and grandpas who only do this for a few hours a week. Since it looks similar with the needs of the families, it fits perfectly." Koch also reports that the regularity of work varies greatly among the substitute grandparents: "We have substitute grandparents who are with a certain family on a certain day every week and, for example, cover the gap hours. That is, the hours when the daycare is already closed, but the parents are not yet home. We also have substitute grandparents who like to take over emergency care, for instance, if the child is sick but there is an important appointment at work.

Grandparent caregivers watch over children of all ages.

When Weiß talks about "her" children, she really starts to gush. "Just yesterday, I was back with my little sunshine boy. Somehow, the day hadn’t started off well," she says, "but when I saw him, everything just vanished." However, Weiß doesn’t only look after babies. One of her first children was already seven when she took over the care. She picked the little girl up from school, ate with her, did homework, and played. "That is, of course, very different from taking care of babies, but it is also a lot of fun," Weiß knows. When asked about her greatest challenge, Weiß responds with silence. "I have found exactly the right thing for myself as a 'surrogate grandma.' Here, I can give so much love and help mothers, but of course fathers too. What could be more wonderful?!

famPLUS - Together for your personal PLUS!